Funny English

Here is a collection of strange signs that you may enjoy sharing with your
students—with appropriate explanations! You can use them in various ways, for
example asking just what is wrong or getting students to correct them.

Private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT
PERMISSION.

Hotel bedroom, Japan:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE
OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

Doctor's surgery, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER
DISEASES.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO
HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL
THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Hotel airconditioner instructions, Japan:
COOLES AND
HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

Zoo, Hungary:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU
HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Resaurant, Nairobi:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES
RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT
HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE
STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER
WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

Men's lavatory, Japan:
TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE
RIGHT

Poster:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE
CAN HELP.

Restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

Automatic hand dryer in public lavatory:
DO NOT
ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

Maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

Cemetery
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS
FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Restaurant menu, Switzerland:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU
NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

Bar, Tokyo:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Temple, Bangkok:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN
A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Japanese public bath:
FOREIGN GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT
TO PULL COCK IN TUB.

Hotel bedroom, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS
INTO YOUR ROOM.

Hotel brochure, Italy:
THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS
PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY
ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel bedroom, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH
PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE
NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE
RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

Hotel, Moscow (opposite Russian Orthodox monastery):

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND
SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

From the Soviet Weekly:
THERE WILL BE A MOSCOW
EXHIBITION OF ARTS BY 15,000 SOVIET REPUBLIC PAINTERS AND SCULPTORS. THESE WERE
EXECUTED OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.

Newspaper, East Africa:
A NEW SWIMMING POOL IS RAPIDLY
TAKING SHAPE SINCE THE CONTRACTORS HAVE THROWN IN THE BULK OF THEIR WORKERS.

Black Forest, Germany:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR
BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND
WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR
THIS PURPOSE.

Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF
ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE
LOBBY BE USED

Laundry, Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND
SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU
LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Hotel bedroom, Moscow:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO
THE USSR, YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR
HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Dentist's advertisement, Hong Kong:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY
THE LATEST METHODISTS.

Airline, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN
ALL DIRECTIONS.