2. Doesn't it seem
crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

3. When the stars are
out, they are visible,
When the lights are out, they are invisible.

4. If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

5. If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

6. C'mon,
let's polish the Polish furniture.

7. The wind was too strong to wind
the sail.

8. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.

9. How can 'A Slim Chance' and 'A Fat
Chance' be the same?

10. How can 'You're so cool' and 'You're not so
hot' be different?

11. Why are 'A Wise man' and 'A Wise guy' opposites?

12. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

13.
The bandage was wound around the wound.

14. I did not object to the
object.

15. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

16.
Boxing rings are square.

17. A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is
it a pig.

18. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

19. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
pine in pineapple.

20. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which
aren't sweet, are meat.

21. The farm was used to produce produce.

22. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France.

23. If brother becomes Brethren, why doesn't mother become
Methren?

24. If tooth becomes teeth, why doesn't booth become beeth?

25. If one goose becomes two geese, why doesn't one moose becomae two
meese?

26. If I speak of a foot and you show me your feet,
And I
give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

27. How come Writers write
but Fingers don't fing?
And Grocers don't groce and Hammers don't ham?

28. A hat in the plural doesn't become hose.
And a cat in the plural
doesn't become cose.

29. A box in the plural becomes is boxes.
But
an Ox in the plural never becomes oxes. (It becomes Oxen).

30. A lone
mouse can transform into a whole set of mice,
But it's impossible for a
single house to become a whole block of hice. (It becomes houses).

31.
Although the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, we must be grateful for
small mercies of the language that the feminine pronouns after 'She' don't
become 'Shis' and 'Shim'.

32. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and
get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

33. A bass was
painted on the head of the bass drum.

34. How can I intimate this to my
most intimate friend?

35. He could lead if he could only get the lead
out.

36. They were too close to the door to close it.

37. I had
to subject the subject to a series of tests.

38. When shot at, the dove
dove into the bushes.

39. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you
fill in a form by filling it out
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

40. It is only in the English language that people recite at a play and
play at a recital.

41. No sooner had my eye fallen upon the tear in the
painting, then this eye of mine began to shed many a tear.

42. I was
given a number of injections to make the pain number.

43. It's not
ridiculous, but entirely sensible to ship by truck and send cargo by ship.

44. We are a strange lot to have noses that run and feet that smell.

45. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

46. I
was proven right that I had the right of way.

47. How come you never
hear of a combobulated, gruntled, ruly, or peccable person?

48. Why is
it that whether you sit down or sit up, the results are the same?

49.
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllable"?

50. If you take an
Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

51. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from
Holland called "Holes?

52. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen
defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians
denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry
cleaners depressed?

53. The human race has been running for a great many
centuries now - but we're not tired yet.

54. "I am" is reportedly the
shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the
longest sentence?

55. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more
refuse.